“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” – Lily Tomlin With everything about our lives being a post on Social Media, the need for likes, loves, validation and emoticons has changed the game of socializing. From a lunch photo shared on Instagram to the latest dress […]
Why you don’t need to be a woman to celebrate International Women’s Day !
With women’s day being the perfect pitch for marketing towards women and let’s not forget the endless sales, we forget that the day is meant for acknowledging the contribution of women in all spheres of life- be it science, art, politics, finance and economics or social work or entrepreneurship.
Find the fact boring? Let’s go back to the days when little girls were only taught to be a good housewife, look pretty and do everything the men in her life told her to do. To chances to break a cycle of taming and to find your seat in politics, economics, finance and even war, were less than easy.
The first National Women’s day was celebrated in the early 20th century. In a continuous bid to earn the same respect for women as that of men in society, it is only obvious that after more than 100 years, the revolution has…
View original post 318 more words
Stress Free Lifestyle: 5 Ways to Achieve it !
‘Lifestyle Stress’- the panic of being accepted to the standards of the high society is not just a new modern version of stress but something that even our parents and grandparents have dealt with. But the fact that consumerism is at an all time high with the latest trends, Cars, Villas, Fashion and online lifestyle shopping, simply does not help.
Ever opened your closet before work and took almost an hour to figure out what will make you feel equal or superior to your colleagues? Read on to know how to deal with the stress of modern lifestyle.
- Invest in timeless, sturdy things: Yes, that new phone or the new car all your friends have may seem tempting. But at the end of the day, a car is a car and a phone is a phone. Invest in things that last and fit your budget.
- Follow convenience: We…
View original post 225 more words
Never Fall Out of Love: 8 Ways to Keep Relationships Healthy & Lasting!
From Jane Austen novels to ‘The Notebook’, every romantic story ends with a ‘happy ever after’. But, how many of us can truly relate to these classic tales? With the stress of the modern lifestyle and the need to be better in every sphere of your life, the pink bubble does start shrinking.
Still, who doesn’t want to have a relationship that has an everlasting charm? Here’s what you can do to keep the romance and the soul of your relationship alive, forever. Check it out.
- Grow together while growing on your own:
Every relationship looses its charm if you do everything together and if you do everything alone. Think of it as a Tango- you mesmerize alone and shine together!
- Communicate to learn:
Every relationship reaches a dull point when you communicate only for chores. Change the way you look at conversations by learning something new about your partner…
View original post 409 more words
10 Ways To Practice Mindfulness In Social Media Age. How digital detox can lead to a well balanced and happier life.
At the turn of the 21th century, people thought internet would do enough to get us by. How wrong were they? Today, Facebook, twitter, Instagram and Youtube is our privileged power and our weakness.
So as much as the phenomena of ‘Digital Detox’ sounds good for 10 days, what we truly need is balance. Still figuring out how to keep your mind sane in a hazy cloud of comments, likes and shares? Here’s a quick fix for social media addiction!
- An hour a day: Keep an hour every day that makes you lock out your devices and spend some time playing the guitar in a quiet room, taking a refreshing run or simply reading a book. Your eyes will thank you for a change of sight and your mind will calm down right away.
- Multitask like a Pro: What every productive person will tell you is that they are multi-tasking. But what they forget to tell you is you can only do one thing at any given time. So as much as you try to eat with one hand while you type away with the other, you are only doing 2 things at a rate of 50%. Not much productive, is it?
- Nestle in the present: How many of us truly take time to see who we are today? Breathe in and breathe out for at least 10 minutes every day and you have a traded secret of mindfulness! Still want to reach out for your phone? Try downloading a breathing app!
- Forget the formula: Even though we are living in a progressive world, our idea of success remains pretty primitive, right? The car, the luxury villa and the fancy trips abroad. We say forget the formula that society has come up with to spell a happy life. Carve out your picture of what truly makes your soul happy even without rewards!
- Start your day with a Goal: As much as reaching out to tweet the morning selfie is tempting, skip the phone to wake up to a diary waiting for you to write down one thing you want to achieve that day. Sounds pretty simple? Try it! We guarantee a bright day!
- Keep a Totem: For those who need something physical to root your conscious to, this is one of the oldest games in learning mindfulness. A totem can be any object that keeps you rooted to reality. It can be a book, a small keychain, a favorite painting or even a spiritual object.
- Decide your own speed: As much as we live in a society of timelines, we forget that we all have a purpose that stays true to us. Let go of other peoples’ time scale and progress at your own speed.
- Let your mind wander: Now here’s one of the fun activities for mindfulness. Every day, take a few moments to imagine your idea of an ideal life. Give your thoughts details- the décor of your ideal house, the ambience of your ideal job and the perfect success story.
- Own your time: The silliest advice that we get is to keep everyone around us happy. The reality is no one can keep everyone happy at the same time. We say own your schedule- the breaks, the family space, the quiet ride back home and the personal ‘Me’ time.
- End the day with a note: Self affirmation is the key to staying mindful. End the day by writing one thing you achieved that day and one thing that you learnt about yourself.
Time has always been in a hurry and with a demanding social-media life, we forget that each one of us needs time to polish our inner self. Stay free by taking a few moments to learn mindfulness by knowing who you truly are- sans the norms and the trends.
“Boys Don’t Cry”- except the emotionally healthy ones Doesn’t it suck when your trying to discuss your inner most (complex) emotions and the other person: a)stares at you blankly; b) makes an inappropiate joke; c) or my personal favourite, changes the subject to something completely random (to be fair this is a skill in itself) like a youtube video of a cat using a toilet….
In my case the ‘other‘ person has usually been of the male kind ( but not always). It seems that many people struggle to express and discuss emotions. Infact they sometimes struggle to even pinpoint the emotion they are feeling.
How not to emotionally scar your child?
What can you do to raise emotionally stable son?
The more I googled ( I know I have a problem) the more I freaked out.. If you look at the suicide stats for the UK you will see that boys and men are more likely to commit suicide. Worrying stuff!
So through some research and general guessing we have started to muddle through a thing called Gentle Parenting. In the hope that Little Man will not grow up to be emotionless brick wall or at least grow up a brick wall that talks back. Here are some of our ideas:
Tough Guys Have Feelings Too by Keith Negley (Picture book)I love books.
I love children’s books even more. I stumbled across this somewhere along my many (especially since Little Man has arrived) google sessions. So simple. It has some of the more stereotypical boyhood idols like superhero’s, wrestlers and cowboys. But the difference is each page shows them expressing an emotion. It is simple but so effective. I have tried to read it to Little Man but apparently I was pitching it a bit high ( he just gnawed at the front cover).
Words are Powerful!
The amount of times I catch myself (never mind everyone else) saying things like naughty/silly boy. But the thing is these phrases are not helpful or encouraging. I mean how can a six month old be silly? Children are children. They are learning, investigating and exploring emotions. Lets try and not to undermine that. Silly me . I have already written about my personal opinion on ‘naughty babies‘ click to read my rant.
All Emotions Allowed.
When Little Man screams and I mean proper screams. The kind of cry where he has real tears and is coughing like crazy (only really happens in the car, bloody car seat). I find myself begging him not to cry. And boy do I hate it when he does and I feel so helpless. But we should allow our children to express all kinds of emotions. Even if it is hard for us or super bad timing (like on a tram during the morning rush!). When we allow we show we value how they are feeling.
Wild At Heart By John Eldredge!
This is a eye opening book on God’s vision for boys and men.
Active Listening and Problem Solving
This was inspired by an article in Juno Magazine. Sarah Emerson an expert of all things on children’s wellbeing wrote a beautiful piece. She discuss the importance of particularly listening to a child during conflict or emotional distressed. Authoritive narrative can limit the opportunity to discuss and reflect on how to approach the situation differently. This does not mean allowing your child to kick people etc. but to show them how to express emotions appropriately.
If you are interested in researching further Steve Biddulph has some great insight on raising emotional intelligent boys and girls. http://www.stevebiddulph.com/Site_1/Home.html
This awesome video of men discussing the last time they cried:https://youtu.be/3GZEmGb-MR8
Here is a charity for men’s Mental Health: https://www.thecalmzone.net
These are mainly untested so what do you do to help your boy/children grow up emotionally expressive and stable?
Often, what misses in your life becomes your calling for existence and that’s exactly what happened with me. This blog is a reflection of various lessons of life I have been trying to grapple with.
I was settled in a successful finance career until some time ago when I started to experience a sense of incompleteness. Despite the fact that I always wanted a career in finance there was a feeling of lack of fulfillment within me. This growing feeling of lack of fulfillment made me question the merits of material progress and social recognition if I was no longer developing as a human being. During those days of mental unrest, I started meditation and self-analysis. Simultaneously, in my spare time, I started reading books and articles on personal growth, psychology, mindfulness, law of attraction, spirituality and many more.
The combination of meditating, reading, self-analysis and soul-searching began to get me new insights about what I could be involved in order to live a more meaningful and fulfilling life. That’s when the idea of starting this blog floated in my head and [Re]DefiningYou! was born. It was like I had found my true calling!
In a society, increasingly driven by the manic pursuit of extremely visible rewards, this blog not only underlines the need for grater purpose in our lives, but also emphasizes on the journey of inner transformation and self-improvement that will help us create a happy, joyful, fulfilling and a truly meaningful life. This blog will also talk about Daily Mindfulness, Social-Media and Stress, Relationship Management, Work Life Balance, Stress Management & Anger Control and Mindful Parenting !
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” ~ Socrates
Gautama Buddha, or simply the Buddha was an ascetic and sage, on whose teachings Buddhism was founded. He is believed to have lived and taught mostly in the eastern part of ancient India sometime between the sixth and fourth centuries BCE.
Of course, it is impossible and unwise to withdraw from environmental influences, because a lot of information and persuasion is necessary and useful. However, I am continuously interested in learn…
What is my definition of success? Your definition is yours, no one else’s, so you don’t need anyone’s approval and you don’t have to alter it to fit into some little “acceptable” box. But you do have to know what your definition of success is or you won’t know what your end goal is or […]